Have you seen my gaydar?

I love women. I always have. I love the way they fit in my arms, I love the way they look. I love the way they smell. Simply put, I love women.

The problem is they do not love me. Or rather I am horrible at telling if they love me. Apparently when I was born Gaydars were out of stock. In the past five years I have never been able to tell when a woman is flirting with me. Even when they are blatantly flirting with me I assume they are just being friendly. 


I learned at a young age to never make assumptions about people. As a result any chance I had at a Gaydar was destroyed by my refusal to judge people. Which really really makes it hard for me. 


There was a cute teller at the bank today when I went to deposit a check after work. She seemed sweet and we were having a fairly entertaining conversation where I made her laugh and she made me smile. Even after my business was done we still talked for a few more minutes. I was honestly sorta sad to leave. It wasn't until I got into my car that it occurred to me that she might have been flirting with me, on even the smallest level. My immediate response to that (other than to post about it on twitter) was that she was surely just being friendly and most certainly she was straight.  But even now I'm sitting at home nine hours later wondering if maybe I missed an opportunity. 

I wonder how many opportunities I might have missed over the past five years. I wonder how many opportunities I'll continue to miss. For the past year and a half my mother and my friends have been trying to convince me to let them sign me up for an online dating service. I've always told them no. But I'm beginning to question that decision. Obviously I can't be trusted to find women in my every day life and my judgment of women in the past has been decidedly poor. Don't get me wrong, I still love and adore my exes, but looking back on our relationships I understand that we were never right for each other. So maybe I need some help in the women department. But I think it would all be a lot easier if I could just get a Gaydar installed.


So maybe we need to start compiling a list of traits I'd like to find in a girlfriend, and a list of the traits that I can't accept or know won't work for us.  If I have an idea what to search for one. Maybe I should let my friends have control over my relationships for now. 


This train of thought will probably be continued tomorrow. Night world.