Make Me Laugh When the Chips are Down

I'm sure some of us are familiar, to a point, with The Women's Murder Club. I'm not going to lie, I loved the show. But I could never really get into it because I'd read the series the books were based on, and I knew there wasn't a happy ending for all the main characters. But there was a scene in the third episode where Claire, Jill, Cindy and Lindsay are having a conversation, revolving around Claire, Jill and Lindsay accepting Cindy into their little group. 

Lindsay - Make me laugh when the chips are down." Jill - "When I'm wrong tell me I'm wrong even if you think I don't want to hear it." Claire - "Keep my secrets, trust me with yours." - Women's Murder Club, Season 1, Episode 3 I've always loved that little bit. So even though I was planning on doing something somewhat silly and entertaining for tonight's blog (and tomorrow's) I decided on something a little different. Tonight and the next couple of nights are going to be themed around that quote segment. Make Me Laugh When the Chips are Down The Golden Girls:   Blanche: I don't really mind Clayton being homosexual, I just don't like him dating men. Dorothy: You really haven't grasped the concept of this gay thing yet, have you? Blanche: There must be homosexuals who date women. Sophia: Yeah, they're called lesbians.

Rose: Sophia, why are you in such a bad mood?
Sophia: Excuse me Rose, I haven't had sex in fifteen years and it's starting to get on my nerves.

Blanche: I'll give you anything! I'll give you one of my sons!
Dorothy: Blanche!
Blanche: Dorothy, I've given this a lot of thought. I've had three sons, I've never had a Mercedes. Which one do you want? Biff, Doug, Skippy? No, don't take Skippy, he's got asthma.

Gabriel Iglesias: (Dude makes me laugh every time)

One Liners:

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.

Potter Puppet Pals:

Choose Your Own Adventure:

 

History of the World, Part I:

Comicus: The Christians are so poor...
Swiftus: How poor are they?
Comicus: Thank you. They are so poor... That they only have one God.
[drumbeat, everyone laughs]
Comicus: But we Romans are rich. We've got a lot of gods. We've got a god for everything. The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation... but I hear that's coming quickly. 

Clue:

Miss Scarlet: Maybe there is life after death.
Mrs. White: Life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage! 

Colonel Mustard: How many husbands have you had?
Mrs. White: Mine or other women's?
Colonel Mustard: Yours.
Mrs. White: Five.
Colonel Mustard: Five?
Mrs. White: Yes, just the five. Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft strong and disposable.
Colonel Mustard: You lure men to their deaths like a spider with flies.
Mrs. White: Flies are where men are most vulnerable.
Colonel Mustard: Right!

Professor Plum: Is there gonna be a cover up?
Wadsworth: Isn't that in the public interest? What could be gained by exposure?
Professor Plum: But is the FBI in the habit of cleaning up after a multiple murder?
Wadsworth: Yes. Why do you think it's run by a man called Hoover? 

The Alot Monster

Okay, hopefully y'all laughed a bit. I should be back on schedule with another blog again tonight, since this is technically Saturday's post. Have a good laugh!