When I'm wrong, tell me I'm wrong.

Lindsay - Make me laugh when the chips are down."
Jill - "When I'm wrong tell me I'm wrong even if you think I don't want to hear it."
Claire - "Keep my secrets, trust me with yours."
- Women's Murder Club, Season 1, Episode 3


I'm of the opinion that too often we hold our tongues instead of saying what is necessary because we don't want to offend anyone. Too often we don't listen when people tell us we're wrong, because we don't want to admit it and we're too prideful to listen. 


There are times when I wish I had spoken up against something someone had said. I wish I had told people they were wrong and I wish I had stood up against their beliefs in order to protect others.


About three years ago, shortly after I finished my Bachelor's Degree, I started substitute teaching in a district I had grown up in. I have always had great respect for educators, my parents are teachers and my grandfather was a teacher as well. So I started substitute teaching knowing that educators offer a great deal to our society and to our children.


I never expected to be stuck in a teacher break room listening to a conversation that I never expected to hear from teaching professionals. I was sitting at a table enjoying my lunch, sitting with a group of teachers that I didn't know very well. The conversation between the teachers turned to a particular student that they believed to be gay. (This was in a middle school, and the student was a 7th grader) I sat there and listened as one teacher after another made disparaging comments about the boy. I was shocked, but not as shocked as when a teacher suggested dropping the boy off outside a prison to spend time with the inmates, because the boy would be sure to enjoy it. 


I sat there, and I sat silently. And I am ashamed. The teachers would blatantly violating the code of conduct and every ethical code that exists. But I kept silently. And I wish, still wish, that I had reported the teachers, but I didn't, because I was afraid of losing my job for speaking out against them. I was wrong. And so were they. But maybe I was more so, because I had the responsibility and the duty of standing up for that student, but I didn't. And for that I am ashamed of myself, and will be, always will be.


We all make mistakes. Some of us more often that others, but we still make them. And maybe part of growing up, part of learning to be ourselves is to recognize when we've made those mistakes and stand up and accept them. 


I got into the car with a drunk driver. Shortly after my 21st birthday I went out to a bar with a couple of my friends. We all had plenty to drink, some more than others, but in the end none of us were sober enough to drive. I was coherent enough to understand that none of us should have been driving. I should have been smart enough to take my friends keys and called one of our other friends to pick us up. But I wasn't that smart, and instead I got in the car and let my friend drive.  Four years later I still wonder how badly that drive really could have ended for us. We were young, stupid, reckless and drunk. It was a mistake. I was wrong.


I've made mistakes, and I regret them every day. I value a friend who will point out my errors to me, who will tell me I'm wrong even if I don't want to hear it. 


I think we'll leave it at this for tonight. Part three of this strand of thought coming tomorrow. Good night!