Keep my secrets, trust me with yours.

Lindsay - Make me laugh when the chips are down."
Jill - "When I'm wrong tell me I'm wrong even if you think I don't want to hear it."
Claire - "Keep my secrets, trust me with yours."
- Women's Murder Club, Season 1, Episode 3



So tonight I'm completing my little trilogy of posts revolving around the above quote from the Women's Murder Club. Secrets are a big part of life and an even bigger part of friendships. We all have our secrets, some we share with others and some we harbor and keep hidden away from even our most trusted companions. I'm lucky enough to have a few friends that I hold near and dear to my heart, companions I love and adore and can tell all my secrets to. But just because I can tell them my secrets doesn't mean I do. There are still secrets, still burdens hidden in my heart that I can't find the strength to share with others.

In light of the theme and idea of tonight's post, I'll try sharing some of my own secrets, some are silly, some are embarrassing and some are painful. But seeing as I've developed a trend of talking about myself, I'll continue along that vein tonight, and hopefully tomorrow I'll move towards something less self absorbed. 

1. When I was a kid I watched a movie on Lifetime with my mom. There was a scene where the cops sprayed luminol on the walls to show the blood from the vicious murder that happened, like in a lot of Lifetime movies, and the walls and ceiling and floor, and entire room was practically lit up with the glow. The scene terrified me for years. Even though I love glow-in-the-dark stuff (my ceiling is covered with stars and planets) it still freaks me out occasionally.


2. I'm terrified of heights.


3. Teaching terrifies me every day. But at the same time it's exhilarating and I feel like for the first time in my life I'm actually maybe making a difference at something. 


4. I adore Kristen Bell in the movie Fanboys and her character Zoe has most of the traits I would picture in my dream girl. 


5. Up until I started my student teaching I spent more time with my dogs than I did with people.


6. If I were a character in Star Wars I don't know if I'd rather be Luke or Han. But not Leia. (I wouldn't look good in the gold bikini)


7. I always wear the same necklace. It has two rings and a german coin on it. One ring was made by my great grandfather and it always lays on the right. The coin that my grandfather brought back from World War Two is between that ring and a ring that belonged to a friend of mine before she died. Her ring always lies on the left. The necklace only comes off when I shower, it's that last thing I take off and the first thing I put back on. (The longest it's been off was when my sister got married in September and I had to take it off for the ceremony and reception.) 


8. When I was a kid I would fall asleep doing anything, reading, sprawled out in random places, in the bath. I'd just keep going and doing whatever until I just passed out. I pretty much still do that. I keep going and working on whatever I need too until I fall asleep. I fell asleep in the middle of writing a paper once, woke up 2 hours later to another two pages I apparently wrote while I was asleep.


9. I have a machete and about 9 pockets knives. (I like pointy things)


10. I try to avoid sleep as much as I can. Or if I can't avoid sleep I try to pop a sleeping pill. I do anything I can to avoid my dreams. My dreams tend to be disturbing or nightmarish. 


11. I wear brightly colored or silly socks to school every day. I need something to add some fun to the fact that I have to dress up for school every day. 


12. I want a tattoo, but I have no idea what of, and I'm afraid of needles.


13. I like having scars. I have a lot that are self-inflicted, which I'm less fond of. But I have some pretty cool ones that I like. 


14. I have absolutely no artistic or crafty talents. I can't knit, paint, draw, sew,  crochet or do anything that involves my hands like that. But I am pretty good with a set of tools.


15. I cried when my fish died. (I was overly attached.)


16. I'm not sure how I could have made it through the past six and a half years without the people I met as a freshman in college. 


17. I have horrible, horrible taste in women. (Most of the time)


18. I talk about alcohol a lot more than I drink it. I don't know why.


19. Sometimes I'm convinced that I'll never be anything but second fiddle to my sister, and it feels like I'm permanently stuck in her shadow. I don't know how to escape that feeling.


20. I'm determined to update this blog every night for a year. Even if some nights it's just random ramble and rabble that fills my head when I'm exhausted. 

G'night folks. See you tomorrow. (oh and I know there are mistakes in yesterday's post, and probably in this one, I'll fix them later. Promise.)